Let Go Of The Negative

Guest post by Yvonne Kinghorm

Through my experience with cancer, chemotherapy and the seemingly endless tests and medications, I have come to realize that while the procedures themselves may be beneficial and necessary, they seem to lack a certain degree of humanity. They feel harsh and cold. I am not talking about the doctors, nurses or technicians that administer the tests or medications. I am talking about the procedures themselves.

They tend to leave us feeling sick, violated and miserable. These feelings make it easy for us to feel vulnerable and victimized. It is up to us to change that, it may not be easy to do but we must if we are to lose the victim mentality.

Fortunately, great strides are being made as far as bringing this awareness to the forefront in the medical field. Dr. Bernie Siegel is one of the pioneers in this movement. He says that “Science and medicine certainly have confirmed through recent research the personality profile and psychology associated with survival behavior and how they affect the body’s chemistry and healing ability.” This means that it is up to us, the patients, to tune our mind and body into healing. It is the single most important thing to realize and understand as you begin your journey.

One of the only books that I read while I was battling cancer was “Love, Medicine & Miracles” by Bernie S. Siegel, M.D. So many of the books out there about cancer are too full of statistics and other depressing information, so it was easier for me to stay positive if I avoided all of that. But this book is different. I read it and loved it. One statement from the book has stuck with me and I have thought about it a lot. The statement is this:

"If I were rewriting “Love, Medicine & Miracles”, I might consider changing  its title to “The Side Effects of Cancer”.  Healing is hard work, as is any change one must make  in one’s own life.  I and others have learned, however, that the side effects of cancer may not all are good side effects too.  An awareness of one’s mortality can lead you to wake up and live an authentic, meaningful life."

When I read this, I realized how much I take for granted in my life.

When you are facing the reality that your time on earth could be coming to an abrupt halt, your priorities tend to change quickly. I remember thinking that I wish the problems I thought were so difficult and worrisome the day before my diagnosis were all that I had to worry about now. When you are staring something like cancer in the face, the trivial details fall by the way side. Happiness, joy, peace, these are what is important.

I have learned the importance of counting blessings.

Being grateful for what you have is a major step forward in changing your attitude. We never know when our time will come to an end, and I have come to realize the importance of living an authentic, meaningful life. I don’t want any regrets. I want those I love to know how I feel, I don’t want to carry grudges or hard feelings toward anyone because I realize that those things won’t matter in the end. Life is wonderful when you find the strength to let go of the negative and embrace the good!

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Yvonne Kinghorn is a Lymphoma Cancer Survivor, Author of A Message Of Hope and Creator of Living-With-Cancer.com, an inspiration website sharing tools and ideas for coping with cancer from a cancer survivor.