20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you something, ask "if they want fries with that".
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish ALL your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".
8. Dont use any punctuation at all ever no matter what you write
9. As often as possible, Skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your Drive-through order is 'To Go'.
12. Sing along to your favorite song in your best Opera voice, with the windows down.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their parity because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name. I go by Boobless Wonder.
17. When your money comes out of the ATM scream "I Won! I Won!".
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THEY'RE LOOSE!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Ad the final way to keep a healthy level of Insanity is to pass this on to someone and make them smile. It's called Therapy. :)
